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Subjects Versus Objects: Who Versus Whom

2021-09-01
Head shot of a screech owl with wide open orange eyes
Photo by dgfhfgh ghdgfhg from FreeImages

Do you struggle with the question of when to use who and when to use whom in a sentence? Even seasoned editors find themselves in this conundrum from time to time and need to look things up. (See #9 in my post on copyediting and proofreading skills.)

The solution is not to have some magical instinct for grammar, though. Perhaps the confusion stems from a simple misunderstanding of how these two pesky little pronouns function in a sentence.

Subject Pronouns: I, He, She, They

Let’s start by tackling simpler terms first, like I, he, she, and they. I, he, she, and they are subject pronouns. That means that I, he, she, and they are the ones performing the action in a sentence. They are the subject that does the thing. For example, who went to the cinema in the following sentence?

They went to the cinema to see the new Black Widow movie.

Answer: They went to the cinema. You could put I, He, or She in the same sentence just as easily, and the sentence would be grammatical.

Object Pronouns: Me, Him, Her, Them

And what about me, him, her, and them? These are object pronouns; object pronouns do not perform the action in a sentence but have an action performed to or on them. For example:

The new Black Widow movie gave them nightmares.

In this sentence, you could substitute me, him, or her for them and still get a grammatical sentence. Remember the subject pronouns above? Try putting I, he, she, or they in that sentence, and you’ll end up with something quite ungrammatical:

  • The new Black Widow movie gave I nightmares.
  • The new Black Widow movie gave he nightmares.
  • The new Black Widow movie gave she nightmares.
  • The new Black Widow movie gave they nightmares.

Compound Pronouns: Me and Him, etc.

Two small owls sit next to each other on a tree branch.
Photo by Rajukhan Pathan from Pexels

Now what about when we are using two pronouns together? What do you think of this sentence:

She and I went to see Black Widow.

What’s the subject? In this case, the subject is two subject pronouns together: She and I. Here’s when some people get confused because they are not sure which pronoun to use.

If you are one of these people, just make the subject singular for a moment. If you remove “She and,” is “I went to see Black Widow” grammatical? … Yep!

What about this sentence:

The new Black Widow movie gave Lucy and me nightmares.

Here we’re using a name, Lucy, plus the object pronoun me that we talked about earlier.

And here’s when even more people get tripped up because they may have learned in school that the pronoun I should go after, never before, someone’s name. That lesson applies only to the subject of a sentence, though, which I talked about in my LinkedIn article “Polite (Mis)Grammar” a while back.

You can see what I mean by using the technique I just introduced: Remove “Lucy,” and you would get “The new Black Widow movie gave me nightmares.”

You can get some more examples of this phenomenon in my more recent LinkedIn article “Her and I?”

Subject Versus Object: Who Versus Whom

Head shot of an owl with a white background reflected
Photo by AaDil from Pexels

So how does whom come into play? Well, who is a subject pronoun just like I, he, she, and they. What does that make whom then? Well, whom is an object pronoun, just like me, him, her, and them!

(Tip: Most of these object pronouns have the letter m in them, so you can remember that whom is an object pronoun that way.)

For example, in the following sentence, the subject pronoun, who, is used correctly:

Who went to the movies to see Black Widow?

And this sentence uses the object pronoun, whom, correctly:

The Black Widow movie gave whom nightmares?

So, if you continue to struggle with which goes where (that is, who versus whom), equate them with their subject and object counterparts. Can you put I, he, she, and they in the place of who or whom? Can you put me, him, her, and them in the place of who or whom?

See some examples below. The first example is correct, with its incorrect counterpart immediately following.

Question Using Who:

Who went to the movies to see Black Widow?

Potential Answers

“I went to the movies to see Black Widow.” versus “Me went to the movies to see Black Widow.”

“He went to the movies to see Black Widow.” versus “Him went to the movies to see Black Widow.”

“She went to the movies to see Black Widow.” versus “Her went to the movies to see Black Widow.”

“They went to the movies to see Black Widow.” versus “Them went to the movies to see Black Widow.”

Question Using Whom:

The Black Widow movie gave whom nightmares?

Potential Answers

“The Black Widow movie gave me nightmares.” versus  “The Black Widow movie gave I nightmares.”

“The Black Widow movie gave him nightmares.” versus  “The Black Widow movie gave he nightmares.”

“The Black Widow movie gave her nightmares.” versus  “The Black Widow movie gave she nightmares.”

“The Black Widow movie gave them nightmares.” versus  “The Black Widow movie gave they nightmares.”


There you have it. You should now understand more clearly when to use who and when to use whom. If you’d like to learn some more grammar skills, check out my self-paced course “Editing Skills for Clear Writing” on Udemy and LearnDesk.

The Right View: A Freelancer (Re)discovers Buddhism

2021-07-07
A statue of the Buddha demonstrates the right view as it overlooks a large coy pond.
Image by Silentpilot from Pixabay 

I’ve rediscovered Western Buddhism and subsequently the concept of “the right view” (I’ll explain that shortly). By “rediscover,” I mean that I read a book about it once. I then nodded my head at some fascinating concepts, set it aside for several years to go on with my life as it was, and finally circled back to it along with related resources.

I’ve always been drawn to the notion of a religion that didn’t have to be a religion. Although it can be treated as deeply spiritual, Buddhism has multiple schools of thought. That means the basic philosophy actually encourages each individual’s own interpretation.

Note of warning: This post is a bit of a departure from my usual ones. It has less structure than my regular writings because I’m still learning where to take these thoughts. Thanks in advance for bearing with me on my little journey …

Budding Buddhist

So I’ve begun to really take this life view, this right view, more seriously in my search for peace and purpose. Actually, I began with the goal of finding a way to manage my anxiety.

In my research, I’ve been most fascinated so far with the concept of “right view.” And that’s the first step on that famous eightfold path you may have heard about.

The right view means that you see things as they truly are—as far as I’ve learned in my limited initial studies anyway, which include:

  • joining the Secular Buddhism Facebook group and listening to the related podcasts by Noah Rasheta;
  • rereading that first book Buddhism: Plain and Simple; and
  • examining Robert Wright’s engaging and provocatively titled Why Buddhism Is True.

But having the right view doesn’t mean that you can tell that your neighbor is lying about the dog poo on your yard. Neither can you tell that my makeup is just a mask to cover up my puffy eyes. It means that you shed the delusions that were imposed by society, your own fears and judgments, and even natural selection.

Natural Selection

This last, natural selection, fascinates me the most because I am drawn to the science of it all. I mean you could argue the other two are also scientific if you look at the right view from a sociological and psychological standpoint. And I’m not going to say I’m not curious about that as well.

In fact, the field of evolutionary psychology likely tackles all of that. I don’t know. That’s next on my reading list.

Anyway, to get back to these delusions, natural selection comes into play when we worry about what others think of us and become obsessed when we fear we’ve said the wrong thing in a brief exchange at a friend’s barbecue.

(I mean, there’s more to it than that, but I need to focus on something or I’ll end up going off on a confusing tangent.)

Image by PDPics from Pixabay 

Back in hunter-gatherer days, as Robert Wright describes, you would likely see the potential offendee 20 minutes later and would resolve the issue that quickly. This was a useful fear in those times because it kept the peace in a fragile community.

But in modern times, you may never see that person again. And fearing others’ judgments can literally be detrimental to your health and well-being.

If you constantly think that others are upset with you or even hate you, you can end up depressed, unable to work, and unable to take proper care of yourself.

Natural selection does that on purpose for the primitive society it was meant for. But it didn’t envision our modern world in which we are less likely to see the person again anytime soon.

The Right View in Freelancing

How does all this discussion on the right view relate to freelancing? As a freelancer, I not only have to cope with the anxiety around constantly needing to drum up business and keep up with my own projects at the same time, but I also have to cope with the isolation that contributes to my anxiety.

When I do venture out of my cave, er, office, I have to think about what I’m going to wear besides my usual yoga pants and whether I should listen to music instead of be more open to the world around me.

All this is worsened by my understanding that others will see me, and I have to interact politely. They’ll all be looking at me! Should I even bother?

The right view is to realize, though, that they are not all looking at me. The right view is also understanding that worrying about what others think of me contributes to the delusion that they even care at all.

They may notice my yoga pants and that I’m listening to music. However, my concern that they really give a hoot about that is evolution ensuring that I keep the peace in the community.

Sure, if one were to flip a neighbor off or go out wearing symbols of hate speech, the peace will certainly be disrupted. But that extreme is rare when I consider what I normally see from day to day. And those are certainly not actions I would ever consider taking anyway!

The Right View in Life

The right view is also seeing the other people going about their lives planting flowers, cleaning out their garage, and heading off to work.

A small single cloud in a big blue sky with tree tops in the foreground
One lonely cloud one day

It’s seeing the birds flying overhead, the lizards darting on the sidewalk, the clouds moving across the blue, and even the incessant leaf blower across the street (also don’t forget the person managing that contraption).

The right view is also the smell of freshly cut grass, the promise of coming rain, the scent of sunblock on my skin, and even dog poo. It’s the honking of cranes, purring of my cat, buzzing of cicadas, and screaming of car alarms.

All of these exist at once, before me and all of us. It’s with us as we cope with everyday anxiety and the business of running a business.

Thus, getting wrapped up in the specifics may hold us back from the lovely whole outside and all around us. The inner worries were put there by natural selection to keep us in check, but we can free ourselves by remembering to take the right view by looking up and all around every once in a while.

Thanks for joining me on this first meander!

Reasons Not to Become a Freelancer: Top 10 List

2021-06-09
Woman taking writing on a notepad next to a smartphone and laptop
Image by Firmbee from Pixabay 

Freelancing is a scary commitment that not everyone is cut out for. If you are unsure about whether to give up the stable 9:00 to 5:00, read these top 10 reasons not to become a freelancer in the virtual workplace.

Note #1: This post focuses on freelancers who work from a home office or coworking space.

Note #2: This post is the second part of a series. The first post described the top 10 reasons to become a freelancer in the virtual workplace.

1. You Enjoy Having Your Evenings and Weekends Off

When you are an employee, you know your schedule from day to day, for the most part at least. Freelancers may have to work weekends and evenings to meet a deadline. Or they need to make up for a bad quarter, plan for a future bad quarter, or keep a good client happy.

As an employee, you get to go home Friday night knowing that you can shut down your work email and not look at it again until Monday. Freelancers can do that too. However, they need to be well established and secure in their current client list and project schedule.

2. You Get Paid While You’re on Vacation

Several rolls of different values of U.S. currency
Image by NikolayFrolochkin from Pixabay 

Even though you have to ask permission from your employer to take a vacation, that vacation is yours. No one can bother you while you’re on it. And—bonus—you get paid while just doing whatever you want. Relax on the beach, jump out of that airplane, and dance the night and day away.

Freelancers have to plan not to get paid during that time. They also need to make sure they can make ends meet before, during, and after vacations.

3. Work and Home Are Separate

Freelancers get to work from anywhere, and often that means the boundary between the office and the couch is foggy. But when you have a steady job and report to an office outside the home, you can separate your personal life more easily.

Furthermore, you can enjoy those weekends and evenings guilt-free. If you don’t see the computer or the boss, they don’t exist as far as your cat or kids are concerned. Out of sight, out of mind.

4. You Have a Stable Job

Man stands with a thoughtful expression surrounded by graphical dollar signs
Image by Tumisu from Pixabay 

Despite your obligation to the current project at hand, you know that as an employee you can depend on a steady paycheck. Having a stable job is one of the top reasons people tell me they don’t want to go freelance.

Freelancers have to constantly be on the hustle and must diversify their clients. They can’t depend on one big client too heavily. That’s because they could be in trouble one day if that contract goes south.

On the other hand, as an employee, you do need to make sure that you are not at risk for layoff and that you provide a valuable service to your employer.

5. You Enjoy Your Me Time

Many people who choose the freelance lifestyle cite the lack of a commute as a major reason for the switch. However, some folks enjoy the commute for the “me time.” If this is you, then you get that time to be on your own.

And if you take public transit, you get to take that time to read or daydream. You can also play games on your phone without your roommate or significant other distracting you.

6. Your Natural Rhythms Suit Traditional Schedules

An old-fashioned alarm clock next to stacks of coins that have plants sprouting from them
Image by Nattanan Kanchanaprat from Pixabay

If you are an early bird, chances are you are well-suited to the traditional 9:00 to 5:00 (or more realistically 8:00 to 5:00). Or you may have a job with a schedule that just plain suits you. Many tech jobs don’t expect employees in the office before 10:00 a.m.!

Freelancers can have a fluctuating or tailored schedule all their own. However, if you don’t already struggle with your employer’s schedule, then this one is probably not on your list of reasons to leave the regular grind.

7. You Prefer Having Work Assigned to You

Having to hunt for your own projects may not appeal to you. Perhaps you like always having something to turn to without much struggle. And if your job is stable, the ebbs and flows are not as stressful as the ones freelancers experience.

8. You Don’t Have Space for a Home Office

A modern living room with couch, coffee table, and wall paintings
Image by Pexels from Pixabay

Now that many people are working remotely, bigger homes are in more demand. But having an office to go to means you don’t have to make room in your home.

And you may not even want to make that space anyway. Your home may be your home, and if you have an extra room, you may want it to be a gym, or craft room, or gender-appropriate cave.

9. You Can Easily Fit Exercise into Your Daily Work Schedule

Freelancers can easily/ideally find the time/space for exercise. But working in an office means you need to schedule it more strategically. However, you may work close to a gym, take your lunch breaks for exercise, or have the energy to go for a run after or before work anyway.

10. Working from Home Is Distracting

A hand holds a remote control in front a large-screen TV showing a streaming menu
Image by Andrés Rodríguez from Pixabay 

Having constant access to your big-screen TV, front porch, comfy pillows, or the kitchen may distract you from work. Even if you have a co-working space, you may not have the motivation to go to it.

Smartphones can also be huge distractions. If that’s a particular issue for you, read my LinkedIn article about how to avoid them.

In contrast, working for an employer means you work at your desk, get the job done, and head home (but not before getting that me time on the commute I mentioned before). You can then escape from the obligations at the office in the evenings and on the weekends.

****

So there you have it. I hope these top 10 reasons not to become a freelancer are helpful as you decide what lifestyle works best for you. And don’t forget to check out the top 10 reasons to become a freelancer too.

And if you want to learn some time management tips or editing skills, check out my courses on Udemy and LearnDesk.

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About Amy

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Freelance Amy

My name is Amy, and I have over a decade of experience offering editorial and design services in the education industry. I also teach online courses and blog about all things freelance related.

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