Lifestyle Archives - Freelance Amy

Speak Up: The Power of Language

2021-09-29

A woman attempts to speak up using a megaphone — *Speak up!*
Photo by **Andrea Piacquadio** from **Pexels**

I’ve always had a quiet voice. I don’t naturally speak loudly and have to make a conscious effort to speak up.

As a kid making a presentation or asking a question in class, I had to contend with other students in the room being encouraged by the teacher to ask me to “speak up.” However, the teacher did not always instruct my classmates to make the request politely or respectfully.

I wouldn’t have gotten more than two words out when a booming voice of one my peers would interrupt me to demand that I “SPEAK UP!” It was as if they were accusing me of deliberately forcing them to yell at me.

Language is complicated.

A simple juxtaposition like that made up of “speak” and “up” can carry important meaning to the receiver. What other two-word phrases carry such power? Shut up, catch up, get up, keep up. (I’m cherry picking here and deliberately selecting phrases with “up” in them for artistic license.)

The point is that these can come off as rudely demanding phrases even when they are meant to help. “Shut up” is obviously quite rude, but in the appropriate context, the rest of them can be off-putting as well.

On the other hand, I don’t advocate for tiptoeing around the language and living in fear that someone will cancel me if I use a common expression. If I unintentionally upset someone, I should be able to simply apologize — with sincerity, of course—and have that be it.

Language is loud?

As an adult, more things roll off my back and especially as a middle-aged adult. I’m not as bothered by little things anymore, but I still hesitate to make requests that require me to speak up beyond my general level of comfort.

These days I usually find some roundabout way to get someone’s attention. If I can make eye contact, I wait until the other person is within a decent proximity before speaking as loudly while still politely as I can. I usually have to repeat myself.

A man has to speak up when giving an order at a busy lunch counter. — *I like the convenience of lunch counters—no need to flag anyone down.*
Photo by **Elina Sazonova** from **Pexels**

Now that I think about it, I can’t remember the last time anyone actually said “speak up” to me. Have I successfully avoided such a scenario, or are people just more polite? Or is it just kids that are cruel?

Language is communicative.

I recently had a conversation with my neighbor who has no problem speaking up, whether grabbing my attention across the driveway or raising important issues at the monthly HOA meetings.

Speaking of HOA meetings, she has been trying to get me to go to those again. I went once and did not relish the experience of sitting in a hot packed room with a mask on (because pandemic) while trying to pay attention to the echoing voices because the community conference room has terrible acoustics.

An analog clock on a concrete wall — *Tick tock, tick tock.*
Photo by **Shawn Stutzman** from **Pexels**

It’s not hard to speak up there, but it’s hard to comprehend or feign interest in a three-hour meeting about proper tree irrigation and door colors. Yeah, you read that right … three hours!

Anyway, I’d been avoiding talking to her about these meetings, but that day I gathered my courage and managed to speak up about how I didn’t particularly care for the meetings and didn’t see much point. We exchanged arguments politely and went on our merry ways.

Not once did she ask me to speak up. I am thinking about giving the meetings one more chance, though.

Language is powerful!

Speaking up can also be hard when you’re not used to the sound of your own voice. I read recently that our voices sound much richer to ourselves and so that’s why we’re so disappointed when we hear our voices on recordings. It’s just never as good as we think it is.

I have published a couple online courses and am working on a third to hopefully launch in November. It was hard for me to edit the audio of these courses at first. The sound of my own voice was grating. I thought I sounded like a little kid, and it brought back some of those anxious memories.

However, after launching the second course, a freelancing colleague commented that I had a pleasant and clear voice that was easy to listen to. I then played one of the lessons back and heard myself in a new light, er, soundwave.

I guess the power of language can only be acknowledged when one appropriately speaks up.

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The Right View: A Freelancer (Re)discovers Buddhism

2021-07-07

A statue of the Buddha demonstrates the right view as it overlooks a large coy pond. — Image by Silentpilot from Pixabay

I’ve rediscovered Western Buddhism and subsequently the concept of “the right view” (I’ll explain that shortly). By “rediscover,” I mean that I read a book about it once. I then nodded my head at some fascinating concepts, set it aside for several years to go on with my life as it was, and finally circled back to it along with related resources.

I’ve always been drawn to the notion of a religion that didn’t have to be a religion. Although it can be treated as deeply spiritual, Buddhism has multiple schools of thought. That means the basic philosophy actually encourages each individual’s own interpretation.

Note of warning: This post is a bit of a departure from my usual ones. It has less structure than my regular writings because I’m still learning where to take these thoughts. Thanks in advance for bearing with me on my little journey …

Budding Buddhist

So I’ve begun to really take this life view, this right view, more seriously in my search for peace and purpose. Actually, I began with the goal of finding a way to manage my anxiety.

In my research, I’ve been most fascinated so far with the concept of “right view.” And that’s the first step on that famous eightfold path you may have heard about.

The right view means that you see things as they truly are—as far as I’ve learned in my limited initial studies anyway, which include:

joining the Secular Buddhism Facebook group and listening to the related podcasts by Noah Rasheta;
rereading that first book Buddhism: Plain and Simple; and
examining Robert Wright’s engaging and provocatively titled Why Buddhism Is True.

But having the right view doesn’t mean that you can tell that your neighbor is lying about the dog poo on your yard. Neither can you tell that my makeup is just a mask to cover up my puffy eyes. It means that you shed the delusions that were imposed by society, your own fears and judgments, and even natural selection.

Natural Selection

This last, natural selection, fascinates me the most because I am drawn to the science of it all. I mean you could argue the other two are also scientific if you look at the right view from a sociological and psychological standpoint. And I’m not going to say I’m not curious about that as well.

In fact, the field of evolutionary psychology likely tackles all of that. I don’t know. That’s next on my reading list.

Anyway, to get back to these delusions, natural selection comes into play when we worry about what others think of us and become obsessed when we fear we’ve said the wrong thing in a brief exchange at a friend’s barbecue.

(I mean, there’s more to it than that, but I need to focus on something or I’ll end up going off on a confusing tangent.)

Back in hunter-gatherer days, as Robert Wright describes, you would likely see the potential offendee 20 minutes later and would resolve the issue that quickly. This was a useful fear in those times because it kept the peace in a fragile community.

But in modern times, you may never see that person again. And fearing others’ judgments can literally be detrimental to your health and well-being.

If you constantly think that others are upset with you or even hate you, you can end up depressed, unable to work, and unable to take proper care of yourself.

Natural selection does that on purpose for the primitive society it was meant for. But it didn’t envision our modern world in which we are less likely to see the person again anytime soon.

The Right View in Freelancing

How does all this discussion on the right view relate to freelancing? As a freelancer, I not only have to cope with the anxiety around constantly needing to drum up business and keep up with my own projects at the same time, but I also have to cope with the isolation that contributes to my anxiety.

When I do venture out of my cave, er, office, I have to think about what I’m going to wear besides my usual yoga pants and whether I should listen to music instead of be more open to the world around me.

All this is worsened by my understanding that others will see me, and I have to interact politely. They’ll all be looking at me! Should I even bother?

The right view is to realize, though, that they are not all looking at me. The right view is also understanding that worrying about what others think of me contributes to the delusion that they even care at all.

They may notice my yoga pants and that I’m listening to music. However, my concern that they really give a hoot about that is evolution ensuring that I keep the peace in the community.

Sure, if one were to flip a neighbor off or go out wearing symbols of hate speech, the peace will certainly be disrupted. But that extreme is rare when I consider what I normally see from day to day. And those are certainly not actions I would ever consider taking anyway!

The Right View in Life

The right view is also seeing the other people going about their lives planting flowers, cleaning out their garage, and heading off to work.

A small single cloud in a big blue sky with tree tops in the foreground — One lonely cloud one day

It’s seeing the birds flying overhead, the lizards darting on the sidewalk, the clouds moving across the blue, and even the incessant leaf blower across the street (also don’t forget the person managing that contraption).

The right view is also the smell of freshly cut grass, the promise of coming rain, the scent of sunblock on my skin, and even dog poo. It’s the honking of cranes, purring of my cat, buzzing of cicadas, and screaming of car alarms.

All of these exist at once, before me and all of us. It’s with us as we cope with everyday anxiety and the business of running a business.

Thus, getting wrapped up in the specifics may hold us back from the lovely whole outside and all around us. The inner worries were put there by natural selection to keep us in check, but we can free ourselves by remembering to take the right view by looking up and all around every once in a while.

Thanks for joining me on this first meander!

My First Real Job:
Getting Started in K–12 Education

2021-04-14

Photograph of Freelance Amy with her parents on college graduation day a few months before her first real job — My mom, me, and my dad on college graduation day

When I graduated college, bachelor of arts in foreign languages with a minor in art in hand, I was pretty proud of myself. Until I realized I had no idea what I was going to do next. As a first-generation college graduate, I was mostly just figuring it out for myself. My parents’ advice was pretty spot on, though: get your first real job.

But I was back home in rural upstate New York, where the degree I had didn’t get me a whole lot. The options included the summer jobs I’d done as a:

night-shift drive-thru cashier at Dunkin Donuts, where I got flashed by the pantsless pervert of Pulaski, New York; or
convenience store clerk selling lottery tickets and occasionally renting out porn from the box we stored at the back.

AmeriCorps: First Real Job?

So I applied to AmeriCorps for my first real job, sort of. I would maybe help fight forest fires in California or educate people on the environment in Colorado. And I didn’t get in.

Clearly, the search for my first real job was looking bleak. Furthermore, I was clueless about how to make this French degree work for me. I knew I didn’t want to live the rest of my adult life in upstate New York. However, I didn’t know how I was going to resolve that problem.

The Eiffel Tower taken from underneath and close up. — I took this photo on a recent trip to Paris.

But then I found out about the local AmeriCorps chapters. And it turned out a nearby high school was looking for a paraprofessional to help out in the high school special education department.

Moreover, they needed someone to shadow a student who had just moved with her family from France. That circumstance was pretty bizarre considering how isolated that little school was.

So, in the middle of nowhere, I was competing against people who very likely had no knowledge of French beyond “bonn-jore.” It was a no-brainer to bring me on. My French degree was already paying off!

First Day on the First Real Job

An open door to a school hallway to my first real job

I did get a stipend and I had to report to “work” during a particular set of hours every day. So the volunteer gig sure felt like my first real job. The day before the school year began, I attended a staff development day. That’s when I met the teachers I would be working with.

My supervisor, the senior special education teacher, needed assistance with his students who struggled with reading and writing. Understandably, my stint as an interpreter for my apparent first real job did not sit well with him. His concerns would not go unaddressed, as you’ll find out shortly.

The next day, I met the 15-year-old French student who did not speak a word of English. She was noticeably in full-on culture shock but seemed to be handling the situation as well as can be expected.

However, my supervisor soon managed to get me transferred back to the special education department. The French student, consequently, was assigned a peer to work with her, which was probably much more appropriate anyway.

Finally Getting Started as a Volunteer Paraprofessional

Classroom with empty desks and chairs the day of my first real job

He introduced me to the students as they arrived and explained what I would be doing in my first real job. My main responsibility was to support juniors and seniors (ages 16–18) by going to their classes, taking notes, and keeping track of assignments and exams.

When there was an exam, I made sure students were provided their appropriate and specific accommodations. Those accommodations or modifications included extra time, dictation, transcription, breaks, or an alternative testing environment.

Sometimes I felt like I was back in high school and not at my first real job. That wasn’t hard to imagine considering I was 22, going on 15 in the looks department. The custodians all thought I was a student anyway.

No Easy First Real Job

A chalkboard graphic shows a headless teacher with a question mark where her head should be.

You might have guessed this was no easy first real job. For sure, the senior teacher had far more responsibilities, but ensuring high school students, some of whom towered over me, stayed on track with their studies was a huge challenge for meek little Amy straight out of college.

Add to that the fact that these students had particular struggles that included not only dyslexia but also behavioral and emotional issues. Some of them came from low-income families, neglectful households, and a history of abuse.

These kids had not been handed an easy start in life. And this rural high school heavily depended on the AmeriCorps program’s annual litter of fresh new volunteers, some embarking on their first real job.

I spent 10 months with the students and learning about their struggles. Although I determined that working with high school students would not be my ultimate path, I gained an appreciation for the good work these teachers were doing to ensure all students had the opportunity to be included.

In fact, inclusion was the key word in this program. The goal was to provide access to the same information that all kids had access to. And that’s the hallmark of modern accessibility guidelines, which I talk about in my post about editing and writing with accessibility in mind.

20 Years Later

Indeed, my first real job opened up a passionate interest of mine that has only blossomed over the past two decades. Over the years, I have somehow always gravitated toward work that promotes equal opportunity to quality education.

In fact, most of my clients come from education. I regularly get to work on training materials for new teachers and coaches that address early childhood education in low-income communities, trauma-informed care, and children at risk for or with developmental delays.

Although that first real job happened more than 20 years ago now, I have always held a soft spot in my heart whenever I work on materials related to the special education field.

My Work These Days

As a copy editor and publication designer, I work with subject matter experts and project managers who are developing research studies, training manuals, online courses, web content, and books for publication that aim to improve the lives of all children.

You can see, in fact, samples of my relevant work in the field in my online portfolio. Check out especially:

the series of briefs on the California Early Math Initiative;
the coaching guide for the Dual Language Learner Supports Project; and
the series of video training guides for home visitors.

And my latest gig is editing online courses in French. So, you could say that, in a way, I have come full circle. I’m using my French degree to support an inclusive environment for all learners in the K–12 system, a system I first started in as my first real job.

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